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POL What is friendship? And where does it end...
A true friend is like a precious crystal or diamond. It should be kept like a treasure.
Just as one keeps diamonds in the vaults, keep your friends deep in the vaults of your heart. Like real gems, they need to be removed occasionally and cleaned. And when you see how your friend shined in the rays of your love, you will be filled with joy and happiness. Such is the nature of friendship. Unfortunately, people find few diamonds in their lives, and so there are many voids in their hearts. There are many diseases of the soul. And almost all of them are related to loneliness in one way or another. Single people often think that they are good for nothing and that no one needs them. But if we have faithful friends who will be with us in joy and sorrow, we will not be so lonely. So who is a true friend? Read below…
Table of content
- What is the most significant thing in friendship?
- True friendship is…
- Who is a true friend?
- Difficulties with best friends
What is the most significant thing in friendship?
It is probably essential for you now that you belong to the company of friends that others accept and love you. It regularly happens that friends become closer than family members during this period of life. A true friend is someone who fully understands and accepts us. Someone to whom we can tell about any of our problems, to whom we completely trust and can freely reveal the innermost secrets of the heart, knowing that the friend will lock them in his heart. There is nothing to hide from a true friend because he and I share one soul. You need such a friend, but to find one, we must learn to be a true friend ourselves.
Friends always understand each other. Learning to understand each other is the foundation of respect because this is how we begin to understand each other's value. This may require some effort, time, and patience. But if we make this effort, we will discover what a wonderful friend we have. Therefore, considerable efforts are needed from both sides so that there is unity in friendship. Nothing comes naturally. The fastest way to make a friend and find a friend is to give the best we have—our whole heart.
True friendship is…
The highest level of friendship can be achieved between brothers and sisters. Calling each other “brother” and “sister” is natural, and we also look at it as something in common, but brothers and sisters are often ready to give their lives for each other.
It also happens that the relationship between brothers and sisters is not easy. When children feel that they are not loved enough at home, they may take out their frustrations on younger siblings. One who frequently feels such an evil and unjust attitude towards himself, of course, it offends and hurts. In addition, it typically happens that the youngest member of the family is afraid to be himself and feels his inferiority in front of older children. Frequently, sibling rivalry is accompanied by fights, verbal or emotional abuse.
You can feel like real brothers and sisters only when you become real friends. In the same way, such close, deep and trusting relations should be established between real friends that they will feel their blood kinship, like real brothers and sisters.
Good friends can always be trusted, but that doesn't mean friends have to be emotionally dependent on each other because emotional dependence leads to ownership. Treating a friend as one's property always prevents the development of in-depth relationships. At the same time, a person thinks: “I want you to be only for me, and I am not going to share you with anyone.” But friendship presupposes, firstly, reciprocity — the harmony of mutual relations. Friends do not take or own what is freely given. Another person is free to make friends with someone else. Adolescence is a time for the emergence of new friendships because we must learn to communicate with different people, not just with one person. Otherwise, there will be rifts and resentment.
Friendship is much more than friendly relations. If we want to have friends, we must have a strong idea and a subtle sense of what the other person needs. Friendship is constantly developing, even after it has already been concluded; it does not remain stationary, but changes like the seasons. Loving relationships require constant effort and sacrifice. The most perfect love is infinite and limitless in its essence.
Sometimes friendship is misunderstood as indulgence. But it is not the same thing. A true friend will definitely tell you if you've made a mistake. If a person is friendly to you, that doesn't make them your friend. If she allows you to do things that will knowingly hurt you or other people, and doesn't try to stop you, she's not a real friend. We cannot force our friends to change, but we must try to help each other sincerely.
Every person requires comrades, friends — brothers and sisters in the sense of the word. When you're in danger or in trouble, that's when you can really appreciate each other. If you have to rely entirely and completely on yourself, then you can lose hope. But real friends care about you, so they aren't concerned about your problems. When you are in trouble, or you have difficulties in the family, it is significant to have a friend who you can rely on. That's what friends are for. In good times and bad times, you can always count on a friend to be there.
Who is a true friend?
Which of these statements do you agree with? Try to explain your perspective.
A friend is someone who:
- who always does what you ask him to do;
- who can be relied on;
- who you like to be with;
- who can be trusted with secrets;
- who agrees with everything you say and think;
- who shares everything good with you;
- who will tell you that you are behaving foolishly;
- with whom it is always fun;
- who divides your views on good and bad people;
- who will honestly express his opinion to you;
- who will remain your friend even if your views on certain things do not agree;
- who supports you in a dispute or conflict situation;
- who is liked by many people.
Difficulties with best friends
Even the best of friends can have arguments. Actually, a significant part of friendship is knowing that you can fight and still be friends, sometimes if you have difficulties or if you fight and make up, you become even closer. Although, when you're in a fight, you think it's terrible. And it forces us to remember that since it is very difficult to quarrel with a best friend, quarrels should occur as rarely as possible.
Below is a list of possible difficulties with best friends. Mark those problems that you have faced yourself. And you can also add issues that are not on the list, but that you have had.
- Your parents don't approve of your friend and don't want you to spend time with them (or their parents don't support you).
- Your best friend behaves differently between you and other people.
- Your best friend sometimes, without thinking, makes rude remarks, clings to you, or hurts your feelings with his actions.
- Your friendship changes. You are not as close as before.
- Your best friend is jealous, thinks you're his property, and gets offended when you hang out with someone else, or you get offended when your friend makes new friends.
- Your best friend is too fickle. Today you are inseparable friends, but you are not sure that it will be so tomorrow.
- You have two best friends who are not friends with each other. You are torn between them.
- Your friend doesn't keep your secrets.
- You're really close with your friend, but almost no one else likes him. Everyone around is wondering why you are friends with such a weirdo.
Of course, we would like to have a ready-made recipe to get rid of all these complications. But there are no such simple decisions in life.
And yet, we can offer something — find a person with whom you can discuss your problems; a person older than you, who may have already had all this in life and who could give useful advice. It could be mom, dad, an older sibling, a teacher, or someone else you trust.
If you go to someone with whom you would like to discuss these problems and say, “Listen, I have a problem and I need your advice.” Maybe she can help you with something. Although, unfortunately, this is not always the case. It can also turn out, as one girl told about it: “I tried to talk to my mother about how difficult it is for me with my friend, and she replies: “Well, if she is like that, find another girlfriend.”
There is little benefit from such advice. One way to avoid such useless advice is to ask someone you trust. The following questions will help this person think seriously about your problems, and then it is more likely that your conversation will be fruitful and the advice they will give you will be useful. Of course, you don't have to ask these exact questions and in this exact form, but they can serve as a good starting point for you.
- Did you have a close friend when you were young? If so, tell us about it. Who was it? How did you become friends? What did you like about it?
- Are you still in contact with this person? If so, how often do you see each other? How do you keep in touch with each other? If not, how and why did you stop being friends or lose touch?
- Have you ever had an issue with your friend? If so, how did you treat them? And how do you feel about such difficulties now that you have grown up? If the same problem arose now, would you do it differently?
Don't be afraid to be a good friend, deep friendships are one of the keys to happiness.
