Know yourself

Before you get to know others

Contents

• Where self-knowledge begins
• How do you look into your own thoughts?
• Thought and action: cause and effect
• Positive thinking is the path to shaping character
• Where am I from?
• Where am I?
• Where am I heading?

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and wondered: who is this person looking back at me? Have you ever thought about the depth of the human soul? Have you ever imagined being someone else? Have you ever stopped to consider the possibilities open to you? Or the particular combination of qualities that makes you who you are?

We want to learn to understand ourselves; to see how our personality takes shape; to grasp what it is that makes us human. We want to step beyond the routine of daily life and reach an almost unexplored territory - the world of self-knowledge. Because only by knowing ourselves can we learn to truly understand other people and the life around us; only then can we achieve the goals we set for ourselves.

Where self-knowledge begins

Self-knowledge begins with becoming aware of what we do and why we do it. We can start to see ourselves clearly by examining our thoughts, our actions, and the way other people treat us.

Imagine you were given the task of learning as much as possible about a person you have never met and are seeing for the first time. Where would you start? You could visit their home while they are out and see how they live. What books do they read? What does their flat look like - clean and welcoming, or messy with things scattered everywhere? What is the atmosphere like - warm and hospitable, or so unfriendly that you would rather leave?

Now imagine spending a few hours with this person. You feel awkward asking direct questions, so you try to understand them by watching how they behave in conversation, how they treat you and others. Do they look you in the eye while talking, or turn away? How does their voice sound? Do you think they really say what they mean?

You can genuinely do this exercise (if you have enough patience and curiosity); in fact, we do it all the time, though unconsciously. Drawing on our own experience or on what acquaintances tell us, we decide whether a particular person is reliable, interesting, intelligent, kind.

But the same is true of us. Other people judge us by our actions, which in turn are shaped by our attitudes and our way of thinking. That is the starting point of self-knowledge.

How do you look into your own thoughts?

There are many ways to begin getting acquainted with yourself. One of the quickest routes to understanding your own nature is to examine your thoughts. Every second hundreds of thoughts crowd into your head - you react to some and barely notice others. What do you think about, and how?

When it comes to knowing ourselves, we have several advantages over the way we come to know other people. We can look not only at our actions and at how others treat us, but also inside ourselves - at our thoughts. If we are honest with ourselves, we can begin to understand why we act the way we do.

Thought and action: cause and effect

A person's thoughts and actions are closely linked. Most philosophers and thinkers have recognised this connection on their own path to self-knowledge. In fact, many see thought and action as a chain of cause and effect: our thoughts determine what we do. No one becomes a murderer, a criminal or a fraudster without first entertaining thoughts of such things.

The reverse is also true: an honest, kind person becomes that way through their thoughts. They think well of others and therefore treat them with respect and patience; they consider themselves worthy and know their own abilities and possibilities.

Fortunately, thoughts are not made of iron - meaning we can change the way we think if we do not like it. Imagine waking up every morning with the thought: “This is going to be an extraordinary day - the best of my life.” And now imagine waking up and thinking: “Oh no, another day! This will be the worst day of my life.” The way we think can determine our happiness.

Positive thinking is the path to shaping character

Finding the good in every person and every situation is not easy - otherwise everyone would be doing it! It seems far easier to look for flaws in others and problems in any situation. Like anything else, positive thinking has to be learned, and that takes time.

You could start like this: imagine you are on a secret mission. You have to find three good qualities in the characters of two classmates you find hardest to get along with. The next day, when you see these people, remember their good qualities.

Simple as this exercise may sound, if you learn to focus your thoughts on what is good in people and in everything around you, you will feel yourself change.

“Through the right choice and true application of thought, man ascends to the Divine Perfection; through the abuse and wrong application of thought, he descends below the level of the beast. Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master.” — James Allen

To understand ourselves properly, it helps to consider where we have come from, where we are now and where we are heading. Then we can see more clearly the meaning of our life and of the events that happen to us.

Where am I from?

Every person is part of humanity and at the same time unlike anyone else. Each of us was born from the union of a man and a woman, who were themselves born of such a union. So we are individuals with characteristics and qualities that set us apart from everyone else. Each of us is a unique creation. Yet we are also closely bound to our family line, inheriting not only physical traits but also the character of our fathers, mothers, grandmothers and grandfathers.

Where am I?

To understand where you are now, you need to look at yourself from the outside, so that the view is more objective. Imagine your life is a film and you are the actor. Now watch the film of your life and ask yourself a few questions:

• How do I see myself?
• What are the strengths of my character?
• What are the weaknesses of my character?
• How do I usually see other people (in a good or a bad light)?
• What inspires me?
• What drives me to despair?
• What are my relationships with family and friends like?
• What are my moral values, judging by my past actions?
• How do I react to stress and conflict?
• Do I behave differently depending on who I am with? And do my moral principles change along with it?

Where am I heading?

The next and probably hardest question we can ask ourselves is: what does the future hold for me? Although some of us have a rough idea of the direction we want to grow in, few have a clear plan. When we are unsure, circumstances carry us along.

Working out where we are heading is a difficult task. To do it, we need a picture of the kind of people we want to become, how we want to develop our sense of self, and what we are prepared to sacrifice to get there.

So self-knowledge starts with examining your thoughts, your actions and the way others treat you. It is also important to listen to your own thoughts. And remember that thoughts and actions are closely connected. Ask yourself the questions that trouble you, and be honest with yourself. The NWET team wishes you every success on your path of self-discovery!