How to be yourself?

There are moments in everyone's life when we are not happy with ourselves. What should we do in such a situation?

What should our self-esteem look like? What does it actually mean to be yourself? Let's look into it in this article.

Contents

• Self-respect and self-esteem
• Appearance is not the main thing
• Self-confidence
• Taking care of yourself
• Why not cross the word “impossible” out of our lives?

Self-respect and self-esteem

To be yourself, self-respect is just as necessary as sunlight and water are for a healthy plant. And it is very important not to confuse respect for yourself with self-admiration and arrogance. Very often people who are insecure behave rather boldly and want to prove to others that they are no worse than anyone else — and because of that behaviour they are frequently perceived as arrogant.

But if you are truly confident in yourself and in what you do, you do not need to prove it to anyone, because you are who you are.

Appearance is not the main thing

Many of us have been told by our parents or friends that looks do not matter. Did you ever really listen to that phrase? We usually assume that people are mostly attracted by good looks, but surveys among young people show that the quality they like most in others is a pleasant character. Intelligence came second, followed by the ability to understand others and a sense of humour. Qualities such as responsibility, respect and self-assurance were also named. Physical aspects were mentioned quite rarely.

Let's take a real example. We sometimes think: «I'm not pretty, that's why nobody wants to spend time with me». But do people really only like the good-looking ones? There are countless examples of a distinctly unattractive guy walking hand in hand with a girl who looks like a fashion model.

And the point is not only about appearance — it is about your inner energy, the charisma you spend on feeling sorry for yourself.

Self-confidence

The image you have of yourself is only your own perception. You are the main builder of your self-esteem. Focus on positive thoughts and dreams, do not dwell on the negative — it shows in the way you look and in the way others perceive you. Psychologists also emphasise that the way we perceive ourselves is the way others will perceive us. People sense the opinion we hold of ourselves.

If you want to become confident, you must not be afraid to meet real life. If we keep running away from difficulties, we start withdrawing into ourselves and thinking about problems all the time. Accept life as it is. If obstacles appear on your path, do not think about how great it would be to turn back time — just overcome them.

When you manage to grow an optimistic attitude to life, you will be able to feel your own worth. Life is not always bright and easy, of course. You will face difficulties, but in such situations it is important to remember that we can handle anything as long as we have enough desire and persistence. That is exactly what being yourself means. For instance, imagine two people who both got a bad grade. The first one burst into tears and said: “Ugh, that's so like me, nothing ever works out, I'd better just stop trying”. The second one thought: “Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? Next time I'll fix it and prepare better”. Which of them, do you think, will be able to believe in themselves and succeed? The answer is obvious. In other words, if we overcome these difficulties and keep growing, in the end we will be confident no matter what happens. But if we constantly avoid difficulties and withdraw into ourselves, there can be no talk of success at all.

Taking care of yourself

It is worth pointing out that taking care of yourself is not just a bubble bath with candles. Care shows up in small things and does so constantly: going to bed on time, eating tasty and healthy food, watching a film and so on. By the feeling you are left with you can tell whether you loved yourself or acted selfishly. It is exactly how we feel afterwards that determines whether we truly loved ourselves. For example, I have a goal — to start doing sports — but what bad luck, it started raining, and I think: “So that I don't get sick, I won't go today, I'd better rest, I need to gather my strength”. And I keep indulging myself like this, as if I were taking care of myself. But what is the result? My health gets worse, and so does my productivity. Now let's look at the opposite situation with a real example. Who knows the singer Adele? She lost almost 50 kg and overcame her problems with alcohol. Thanks to what? She had motivation and willpower. Of course, along the way she got carried away, and sport started bringing her joy and motivation, so it became easier. She was her own coach.

Why not cross the word “impossible” out of our lives?

The only limitations that hold us back are the ones we set for ourselves.

Real self-confidence never appears if we compare ourselves with others. That can only lead to us feeling like absolutely nobody, or, on the contrary, becoming vain — because there will always be people better than us or worse than us. You can be the best at programming and still have a poor command of your own language. That is why in such circumstances it is very important to share experience and to take an interest in other people's winning moments. To be yourself, learn from one another and help each other, but do not forget that we are all different. There are no two identical hearts, there are no people who are completely alike.

So, be confident in your own self!